Need wise advice in a family matter?
Memories____ asked:
My whole family (1 grandma, 3 younger siblings & 1 alcoholic older brother) lives in my apartment in a third world country. We grew up as orphans, but our grandma raised us instead of sending us to an orphans’ place. We’re very lucky that we have wonderful grandmother. My brother is a horrible alcoholic and that nothing has to do with anyone/anything except his own bad decisions. Now our grandma is very old and has horrible skin cancer. Her skin cancer has been spreading all over her face really bad and I have been solely helping her financially for last two years. I have also been helping out my sisters for last 10 years financially (school tuition, food and you name it), since they have been in high schools and colleges. My sister are not lazy kids, in fact, they are very hard working kids, having part time job is not option to them. My husband & I have our own life, yes; bills/debts to pay just like anybody. But my husband always encouraged me to help out my sisters and grandma. My sisters take care of our old grandma very well and deal with all medical complications, surgeries, hospitals, doctors and also our alcoholic brother. Because of that, I felt guilty and was providing them for last 10 years. Well, we can’t send our grandma to a nursing home & our alcoholic brother to a jail. It just does not work in that way in that third world country. I literally don’t do and/or buy anything for me in order to help out to my poor family. But recently I discovered that they let someone (a very distant relative, whom I don’t know at all) stay in my apartment. The kid is from a rural part of the country, because she needs to go to a college and her mother is sick etc., The kid has aunts and uncles who have better lives than our people… why she didn’t stay with them. This kid apparently does not contribute for anything…lives & eats free. My skinny youngest sister cooks every night. What upsets me the most is my family has never told me and/or asked me about letting someone stay there free of charge, while I am completely sacrificing my own life to help them out? Yes, a complicated situation. I am started hating my family and felt betrayed. Should I just cut my tie with my family, because I am sick and tired of everything they to do? They have never included me to make decisions, and then often dig deep holes to fall, and then I am the one who saves their lives and provides them in major way. Thanks.
